Breaking Pencils
by Tallest Red
Summary: Just another memory of getting into an insult match with Zim while we were younger at the Irken Academy. I'm pretty sure I won, but judge for yourself by reading it!


**Disclaimer: I did not create anything in the Invader Zim universe the Vasquez-human created. How dare you if you thought otherwise! If you're a thief or think I am, I'll...do doomy stuff! _Tallest_ doomy stuff! *****shoots random person with laser* Yeah, be afraid. VERY afraid. I have a laser, and I know how to use it!**

**I'll give you a short story that's funny and takes place when everyone was still in training, okay? I don't remember who was Tallest at the time so...I won't mention that I don't remember.**

**Purple: You just did...**

* * *

"...and _that_, class, is how you cure every disease known to every living being, with the exception of death itself," the teacher drone announced. I rolled my eyes and rested my head on my hand, trying to stay awake through this boring lecture. She's just telling us everything that we already know. Purple sat next to me, in a purple version of the standard Invader uniform. He, of course, was taking notes like she was revealing the secret to becoming Tallest. A pencil poked my back.

"Hey," a nasally voice whispered. I turned around in my seat to glare at the green-eyed Irken.

"For the love of the Almighty Tallest, what do you want this time, Spork?" I groaned.

"The answer to question 5 on the homework!" he replied, looking worried. "I didn't get it!"

"I already gave you the answers to questions 1 through 4!" I retorted. "I'm not giving you another one!"

"Pllleeeaaassseee?" Spork whined.

"No!" I hissed, turning back to the front of the classroom. A pencil jabbed my shoulder again, and I calmly snatched the writing instrument and snapped it in half. I threw the splinters back at him. "That's why I write in pen. So people like me can't break them."

"You jerk," Sprok grumbled. "I'll just ask Zim. _He'll_ help me."

"Yeah, he'll be _really_ helpful," I snickered without looking at him.

"No he won't!" Purple whispered in confusion, joining in the conversation. He didn't always catch sarcasm well.

"Is there something you would like to tell the class, Invader Purple?" the teacher questioned, glaring at him. I held back laughter behind one hand as Spork whistled innocently. Purple's antennae drooped in embarassment.

"N-no, teacher," he muttered. Poor purple-eyed Irken. Always getting caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Then don't disrupt the class," the teacher warned. Purple's face turned a darker shade of green in the Irken approximation of a blush of shame. "Honestly, why can't you all be more like my star pupil, Miyuki?"

The blue-eyed bookworm looked up with wide, innocent eyes. "Please, teacher. You are embarrasing me."

"Nonsense, Miyuki!" the teacher said happily. "Say, you've had a growth spurt, haven't you?"

A blush from the bookworm. "Maybe."

"You'll make a fine Almighty Tallest someday," the teacher decided.

"Hey! HEY!" a particularly short, annoying Invader cried out in anger. He stood on his desk. "She will not be the Almighty Tallest! ZIM shall be Tallest and RULE YOU ALL!"

"When shnorkles fly," I muttered to Purple. My friend snickered and nodded. Zim ignored us and continued to rant, saying how HE'LL be Tallest, and how he'll rule us all with an iron fist. Typical Zim.

The somewhat tall teacher with maroon eyes sighed in exasperation. "Zim, please. Just sit down and pay attention for once."

"Shut up, Zim!" a tall male Irken with a blue Invader outfit scowled. "Can't you go _one_ day without going off on a tirade? Just one?"

"YOU!" Zim shouted, pointing over at the irritated male. "YOU are part of the conspiracy to keep Ziiimmm from growing! Aren't you?"

"Lack of growth isn't a conspiracy, Zim."

"Aren't you?"

"I'm not part of any-"

"AREN'T YOU?" he continued to shout.

"Will you just-"

"AREN'T YOU?"

"I ALREADY SAID I WASN'T!" the victim of Zim's misplaced anger yelled back. "Geez, you have a problem with listening."

"AREN'T YOU?" the Almighty Oblivious screeched.

"Shut up!" I shouted, throwing my pen at his head. He spun around and stuck his tongue out at me childishly.

"Make me!" he retorted, crossing his arms.

"I don't make trash, I burn it!" The class gave a collective 'oooooo' at this, anticipating an insult match. Well, they were rewarded for their efforts.

"I know potted plants that have a higher IQ than you!" Zim shouted at me.

"Trust you to mention IQ," I snickered. "Everyone knows it's the longest word you can spell!"

"Zim is sorry, is that your attempt at being mean?"

"I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy."

"I can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move."

"You are an Irken who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!"

"Uh...well...YOUR FACE!"

"ENOUGH!" Miyuki, of all people, shouted. She stood between the two of us.

"You!" She pointed to Zim. "Stop trying to pick fights with people taller than you!"

"Way to go Miyuki!" I exclaimed. She shot me a glare.

"And you, Red. You know better, you're more superior, so act like it!" With this, she stomped out of the classroom. The teacher blinked in confusion.

"Class dismissed, apparently," the teacher mumbled. "Since people just LEAVE and everything."

"Ooo, Red's in trouble!" Purple laughed, getting out of the desk. "You got yelled at by a _girl_!"

"Well, I'm used to that," I said with a nonchalant shrug. "What, with you sounding like one and all."

"HEY!"


End file.
